In Which I Talk About Socialization

I home school. I have home schooled from the beginning, and I am addicted. I will home school my 4 children up through high school. Maybe I will even home school them through college (okay, maybe that is a little extreme). Here's the thing, though, homeschoolers have this stigma. There is this looming cloud over the homeschooling community that is just waiting to erupt from anyone who has not had a "regular" interaction with a homeschooling family. It is SOCIALIZATION.

I must preface my thoughts. This post is in no way a criticism of any of you; it is simply me sharing my thoughts on the negative comments homeschooling families receive about socialization. For those of you who home school, you know the question? The question that we balk at, the question that makes us secretly laugh at home (yes, we do laugh at this): what about their socialization? Well, you (an adult) just spent five minutes carrying on a very normal conversation with my 7 year old, and you are still asking me about socialization???

I would be rich if I had a nickel for every time someone has asked me that question. I understand....when we have no experience with something, we just accept the ideas that have either been fed to us or embrace our initial reactions with one particular person, rather than looking at the group as a whole. This can also happen on the flip side where homeschooling families have certain ideas about "public school children." But, I digress.

So, how do I answer that inevitable question. Do I list all the extra-curricular activities that my children do with other children, or do I list all the free-play dates that we have with other children, or do I list all the activities that my children do with adults, or do I list all the activities that my children do with the family, or do I list all the activities that my children do to service the community? That is one approach, but not the one I choose.

 Socialization does not come from activity. Socialization does not come from being contained in a room with 20 other children of the same age. True socialization is a process and is something we are constantly learning. To be a healthy "socialized" being, a child needs authentic relationships. These relationships can be with children of any age, or even adults. My children can sit down and have a meaningful conversation with adults but also play with children 3 years younger than they are. My children all have friends that are close in age, but they also have friends who are years younger or years older. I do not look for opportunities to "socialize" my children. I look for purpose-filled relationships. I look for opportunities to teach my children how to love and honor others. I use potential negative situations to teach them problem solving skills.

 Wikipedia tells me that socialization refers to "the lifelong process of inheriting and disseminating norms, customs, and ideologies providing an individual with the skills and habits necessary for participating within his or her own society. Socialization is thus ‘the means by which social and cultural continuity are attained.'"

It seems to me that this can be done pretty well at home. Sometimes I wonder if what people really want to ask is, "Are your kids normal?" But they choose the more "politically correct" route by asking about their socialization. Imagine if it were reversed, and I asked all of you who send your children to school (and this is how it has been said to me), "Well, my goodness, what do you DO about their socialization?" We do NOT lock ourselves in our homes, barring all windows, shutting out the rest of the world. Most of us are very regular, normal people who are very active in our communities. We simply choose to educate our children at home (for many different reasons).

For those of you who are already homeschooling and know what I am talking about...just respond with a polite, "Johnny, quick, run!!! Someone is trying to talk to us!"

For any of you considering homeschooling, please know that your child will be fine. Your child will get all the interaction that he/she needs especially if you are paying attention. Your child will grow up healthy, loved, eager, and as normal as any other child. I mean, they look normal to me....

Some very normal interaction with the cousins

And for those of you who don't home school, just don't ask. Assume that I am, just like you, making the best decision for our family, and that all of my children will most definitely grow up with flaws, quirks, and oddities but full of passion, honor, love, and a desire to learn.

A Day in the Woods

We love our home and its location. Our house was for sale for many months. We finally got a buyer. We were excited, apprehensive, scared, surprised, and uncertain. We began packing and began thinking about all that we would miss living where we do. We were also eager to move on and see what was in store for us. We journeyed on....until the buyer lost her job. Everything was halted. We are now unpacking, settling back in and enjoying all those things that we were going to miss so much...like the acres of woods and hours of imaginative play right out our back door.

 The fort they worked on all morning long.

 Starting a "fire" so they can cook their food.

 The school "slate."

I am thankful to have more time to explore the woods of my own backyard.

Raising World Changers ~Boxes For Bracelets

I have always been a "change the world" kind of person. Do you remember that song by Michael Jackson? "Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race." My favorite line is, "We could really get there if we cared enough for the living." This was one of my theme songs growing up. Many of my conversations with friends and family were brainstorming how to "Change the World." My dad even asked me one day when I was in college, "What do you really want to do?" And I said, "Dad, I want to change the World. I want to change the world with love." I graduated with my degree in education with hopes to change the world one life at a time, although I think at the time I wanted to become the next Mother Theresa (I don't quite fill those shoes).

 I believe in a "whole world" view rather than a "United States" view. I have always grieved for the pain and suffering all over the world. I have always rejoiced with simple joys of anyone. In years past, I felt stuck as a mom....thinking that my years of "changing the world" were over...limited...or even pointless. Boy, did I ever have a limited perspective during those years.

More recently, I have plowed through, teaching my children to be world changers. I don't want my children to think that the world revolves around them and their abilities. I want them to view everyone else as more important than themselves. We use the word HONOR often in our house. We talk about what it means to honor each other...what it means to honor our community...what it means to honor our leaders and our country....and what it means to honor people all across the world. It boils down to one concept, "Consider one another better than ourselves." If we all have this perspective then our reactions to others will be out of love and consideration. I am not talking like, "oh...they are so much better than me; I will never amount to anything." I am talking, "you are so special that I consider all of your needs, hopes, dreams, struggles and want to honor and embrace them. I choose not to fight with you or take anything away from you; I choose to give to you over receiving for myself."

 You moms know how exciting it is when you see the fruit of your labor, and I started seeing it in my children right after the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. The day after, my son (5 at the time) prayed for Haiti, "Dear Jesus, please do not let Haiti fall down again." They wanted to help so they made magnets and sold them, raising over $50 (which was a smaller portion of a larger amount sent by the group they were working with). Then their Auntie and Uncle shared that they would be adopting a little boy from Haiti. Their hearts became infused with Haiti. They want to visit there, they want to send every extra penny they receive; they want to help in any way they can.

We heard about an organization called The ApParent Project through one of the blogs I follow: Sit a Spell. This is one of the best organizations I have seen, and we all wanted to do something to help. The ApParent Project employs the Haitian people to make jewelry, journals, clothing, Christmas ornaments, etc. This is HUGE for the Haitian people because an income helps keep their families together. Many of the orphans in Haiti are not in the orphanages because they have no parents; many of them were placed there by their loving parents because if they stayed at home, they would starve. Those that do not find a place in an orphanage are forced (out of starvation) to eat mud pies. You know the kind you made when you were a child....yes, they really eat them. To fill the hunger pangs in their bellies. Take a moment and try to imagine that.

The ApParent Project offers so much hope to the Haitian families that they employ. Each piece of jewelry is hand made by an artisan, and each piece has a significant story. And guess what? The jewelry is made out of: recycled cereal boxes, the very ones that we take to the recycling center every week. We have purchased many bracelets, necklaces, earrings, and ornaments, and we LOVE reading the stories that go along with each piece. The joy knowing that single mom can keep her 5 children because she has a job to go to everyday is hardly comparable to anything we know here.

Well, my 9 year old daughter asked me what we could do to help more. I glanced over the website and found that they take donations. Rays of Hope for Haiti has a container ministry, and they will receive and ship boxes for the ApParent Project at a fraction of the cost. If you have ever tried to ship something standard mail to Haiti, you know how expensive it is. Kaylynn was thrilled, "We can save our cereal boxes MOM!"

So in April, I helped her create a facebook page; she went to our monthly Homeschool moms connect night and shared what she was doing; she went with her auntie to various presentations in the area and shared what she was doing. She set up easily accessible drop off locations at the local libraries. The cereal boxes started pouring in. After only a month of collecting boxes, she sent over 300. We have another 300 ready to go. I love to see my children pouring their time and lives out for others. We continue to change the world in every way that we can, and sometimes, that is through collecting cereal boxes.

In October, Kaylynn had the opportunity to share her love with an even wider audience: The American Girl company. They ran a contest. Each girl submitted a 60 second video sharing why they feel like an everyday hero. Kaylynn does not brag (although I might just a little....because I am her proud mama) about what she does, nor does she spend time talking about her accomplishments. She helps out of a pure, loving heart. She was excited to share what she was doing with American Girl, and out of 1,700, she was chosen as one of the 6 finalists! Now, you have the opportunity to Vote to choose the grand prize winner (who will receive an all expenses paid trip to Washington DC). You can vote right on the American Girl website. Just follow this link, click to watch "Boxes For Bracelets," then hit the "vote for this one" button. Please only one vote per person/email account. We are so proud of her, not just because her video was chosen as a finalist, but because she has been the driving force behind Boxes For Bracelets (and she also worked very hard writing, acting in, and editing her video...all part of home schooling). We did not begin this journey with a contest in mind, but since she entered, the newspaper wants to interview her, more people are donating boxes, and we are raising awareness. This is such a tremendous blessing. She is a World Changer.

We have a generation that we can encourage to be world changers. Children LOVE to love people. They want to help others, they want to give of themselves. It is not until we are older that we decide that we want more for ourselves than for others. I can take a few minutes on my soap box because this is something that I am so passionate about. Take the time to teach your children how to encourage one another. Take the time to show them how to do it. Because we can really do it, "if we care enough for the living." (I cannot believe that I am quoting Michael Jackson). And when you are shopping for this Christmas (as it is coming), please consider neglecting Walmart and Target. Take the time to find a gift that will give directly back to someone who needs it. The ApParent Project has beautiful gifts, and you can read the story of the family that you are helping. Or even consider this, instead of giving gifts, give to purchase clean water or maybe even a goat for a family. Last year, my kids really wanted to buy two pigs and chickens for a couple of families so we did. Then, take that heart of giving, and transfer it to all year long. Send a donation of some beads or boxes or something else to an entirely different organization. Instead of buying that dollar item, put the dollar into a jar intended to help someone else. Let's be World Changers together and teach our children that it doesn't have to be difficult. Please share with me how you teach your children to love others. I would also love it if you would share info on any organizations that are committed to loving others. If you live in Maine and would like to start donating your cereal boxes, please let me know, and I can give you the address for a drop off location near you.

Thankful Thursdays ~ Poison Ivy Home Remedies and Bursts of Yellow

Another week of many things to be thankful for, of which I will only share two.

Poison Ivy Relief.
Kaylynn has had more battles with Poison Ivy (or poison Sumac) than I can count. Two years ago, it left her immobile on the couch with eyes swollen shut, Jewel weed packs all over her body, and still no relief. We have tried everything from boiling Jewel weed, tea tree oil, and organic lotions to Benedryl with little to no relief for my dear daughter. I am not willing to put her on steroids (which is what the next "recommended" step is) so this time around, I dug deeper. Our first line of defense is poison ivy soap which we wash her with almost daily. But when that is not around, she breaks out all over the place. In my search for a natural relief I found Lemons! Yes lemons.

I rubbed the lemon on her rash, and she had almost immediate relief for nearly 6 hours. It did burn a little, but the relief was worth it. Baking Soda and Vinegar paste was also a big hit. This has less of a burning sensation and provides the same relief. I am so thankful for these "in my cupboard" remedies because my poor daughter was miserable. Her beautiful smiles are back, and my hear swells with gratitude! We are going on vacation this weekend, and I am packing our poison Ivy soap and lots of lemons!

I am also thankful for Vibrant Yellow on the clothesline!

If you feel inspired and want to join in on Thankful Thursdays, please leave a link to your blog post so everyone can read about what you are thankful for. If you do not blog, please leave a comment and tell me what you are thankful for right now, this very moment.
 

 It is easier to live through the ugly when we look for the beauty.

Nothing Like a Good Book

We read a lot in our house, and summer is no exception (nothing like a good book on a relaxing summer afternoon). Kaylynn has always been an eager reader. She just recently finished Little Women (the unabridged version). Her favorites still tend to be youth biographies (she loves Corrie Ten Boom, Amy Carmichael, Helen Keller, etc) or any other type of Historical Fiction. Jeremie is still in the very beginning stages of reading. He will read very simple stories but has not taken off independently yet. Kalli wants to read so badly but just isn't there, and Cami....well she's 2.
So, this means that I (or daddy or big sister) get to curl up with my kiddos everyday and read. I have 4 children's reading needs to meet which means I need to be intentional about reading. Picture books are a favorite for everyone. All of my children can sit for hours and listen to me read picture books (even my 2 year old). Each child has their favorites, though, that none of the others enjoy so I also get one on one reading time.

Currently, I am reading The Hobbit to Kaylynn. We are enjoying the language, the adventure, and the silliness of Old Bilbo Baggins.I miss so much of what she reads because she is so independent so I make it a priority to find a book that has some challenging vocabulary....something that she would not understand reading on her own. And right now, that book is the Hobbit, and what a alluring story, that I always enjoy returning to.

To Jeremie, we read The Magic Tree House series. He loves these books and will listen to them over and over. The adventure stories of Jack and Annie have often become a springboard for further study. He especially liked Night of the Ninjas, and we spent weeks studying "ancient Ninjas" afterward.

To Kalli, I read Berenstain Bears. She loves Brother Bear, Sister Bear, Cousin Freddy, and Lizzy! She will check out the entire shelf at the library. We have read them over and over. She also enjoys the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" series. We just checked out "If you Give a Dog a Doughnut," and we enjoy following the dog through what he wants until we come full circle to the doughnut again.

Cami  wants me to read the same three books over and over. I remember going through this phase with each one of my older children. I have memorized the books and can "read" them without even looking at the page. I start making up funny voices at this point or trying to find a hidden object on the page to make it more interesting (for me). Her favorites are Good Night Moon (I never grow tired of this one), and "Not Norman: A Goldfish Story.  She has checked it out from the library at least 4 times and has most of it memorized. We return it, and the very next trip to the library, she checks it out again. The librarian has even commented on how much she loves this book.

 

I am reading Little Men. I finished Little Women (before Kaylynn) just to be sure that the content was okay for her (as I could not remember from high school), and now I have been slowly pushing my way through Little Men. I like it, but not as much as Little Women. I am also reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where you Are (this is my 2nd time reading through this book). Sometimes her style of writing is a little too poetic for me, especially when I just want to get to the good stuff.  There are a few sections of the book that I skim through (because I am not looking for poetry). Most of it, though, is packed full of encouragement, inspiration, and has given me opportunity to re-evaluate how I look at life.

One of my (and my kiddos) new all time favorite books, though, is Miss Rumphius. This book is full of beautiful illustrations (my non-readers will pick this one up just to enjoy the pictures) and is simply a delightful story. I never knew what a Lupine was until I moved to Maine. They are beautiful, wild perennials that grow all over Maine. I have seen them on the side of the highway, on rocky hillsides, and in my own backyard. I have grown to love these flowers and wait expectantly every year for them to bloom. I think Miss Rumphius inspired me to adore these beautiful flowers. Miss Rumphius is given a challenge by her grandfather to make the world a more beautiful place. She travels the world doing many different things until she finally realizes what it is she can do to make the world a more beautiful place.

What are some good books you are reading this summer?

Confidence: A Turtle Story

Driving home last night, I passed a large, what looked like a large rock, on the side of the highway. This "rock" appeared to have a tail and at least one leg. I whipped the car over to the shoulder, and cried out, "Kids! I think that was a real LIVE snapping turtle, and I think she wants to cross the road!" (I would not have known this had we not taken a class just a month prior at the Maine Wildlife Park. We learned all about how the mama turtles will cross the road in order to lay their eggs).

 Photo Credit (because I was too busy saving a turtle to take pictures).

 Imagine the excitement that filled the car as I turned around and pulled up right behind her. She was so still; we weren't sure if she was going to cross of if she had already crossed so we waited. Then she made her move, and I freaked. Oh no! This is a 50 mile an hour road. "Kids we need to save this Snappy Turtle." So I did what any sane mother would do, and I pulled my car onto the highway, set my flashers, told the kids to stay buckled, and I got out. As soon as I got out of my car, she started moving more quickly (afraid of me or maybe she knew I was helping) right into the oncoming traffic lane. Here again, I reacted in the most calm, civil manner. I started jumping up and down like a monkey, waving my arms, and shouting, "Stop! There's a turtle in the road; she needs to lay her eggs!" The car was not slowing down, so I inched my way toward the center line, all the while jumping, shouting, waving my arms, and yelling as loud as I could (as if the driver could actually hear me). The motorist finally stopped, and the little turtle continued on her way.

 Photo Credit

I turn around, and there is a long line of cars behind mine so I did what any awesome mother would do, and I give the entire line a big cheesy grin and double thumbs up, run back to my car, hop in, and drive away. My kids were so proud, "MOM! YOU WERE AWESOME!" We saved her, and that meant the world to them. Kaylynn, being my sentimental one, says, "Mom, we need to name her: Trust, Confidence, or Faith." Kalli pipes in, "I like Confidence."

We named her Confidence.

Easter Traditions

Some days I feel like I preach spontaneity then other days I rest in the comfort of family traditions. I appreciate knowing that some things will remain consistent year after year. It gives me the freedom to set up moments of remembrance and gives me room for making new memories that are anchored.

Growing up, my parents introduced us to many holiday traditions like getting new pajamas every year on Christmas Eve OR buying strawberry and grape Shasta soda to drink on the truck bed while we watched the annual summer parade OR participating in annual Easter egg hunts with our church family. Since having children, we have kept some of these traditions and dismissed others (is Shasta soda even made anymore)? Some traditions we have altered to fit the dynamics of our family. And because this blog post is about EASTER traditions I suppose I should get around to talking a little bit about what we do as a family for Easter.


Here's the deal, though, I cannot share all the details with you or Easter eggs everywhere will cease to exist (have you ever wondered why it is an Easter bunny that delivers the eggs and not an Easter chicken). No, but seriously, I can tell you that our tradition requires stealth, speed, plastic eggs, the whole family, sharing our heart about Christ, and many other families. For 7 years we have carried on this special tradition without missing a beat. As we welcome each new child into the family, they just come alongside, and once they are old enough, they actually get special training and have to prove their stealth before given the freedom to participate.


Our Easter conversation usually goes something like this...."do you remember last year?" AND "Oh man! That was so crazy!" And on and on....with laughter filling the air sometimes until we are all crying. Then there is the conversation about why we celebrate Easter. AND year after year, at least on of our kiddos asks "Why do we celebrate Easter on this day if we don't really know when Jesus rose from the grave?" It is not about knowing the exact date, but it is about giving ourselves a time of remembrance. We use this time to remember Christ's sacrifice for us and His power over the grave. We mark this day every year and set it aside to reflect on the culmination of Christ's life (not to neglect it the rest of the year of course).

We decided 7 years ago that we would add our own family spin on Easter by loving others together, sharing the good news of why we celebrate Easter, and some major fun! Some day, I will reveal to you the top secret mission of the Johnson Family, but that will be far in the future....possibly when we are grandparents. Until then....if you are dying to know (and if you live more than 300 miles away and are super stealthy, you can send me an email or leave a comment, and I will reply via personal email). For the rest of you, what are some of your favorite family traditions?

An Easter Garden

Seasonal creations are so much fun for my little ones, and I enjoy them too! Recently, the weather has been especially "Springy" so we decided it was time to create our Easter Garden. This is our first year creating such a masterpiece, but we were so inspired by my sister in law and nephews last year that we looked forward to doing one this year. (You can see their Easter Garden from last year here). The kids were very intentional about the flowers they chose, the rocks for Jesus' tomb, and the Playmobil people that they insisted on putting in the garden. The scene is complete with Jesus in the tomb (and yes he will be there until Easter when we roll away the stone.....a little longer than 3 days), guards in front of the tomb, girls sinking in the mud (per Jeremie), and a few climbing trees (for good measure, I suppose).

Soap Making Made SImple

Soap making does not have to be a nightmare; in fact, it is so much fun! I am not a professional; I would identify myself more as a "beginner" in the soap making adventure. I have actually only made 2 batches of soap, although they turned out so well that I gave some of it away as gifts and still had enough bars to last me 4 months! In this post, I share a little of what I know and a lot of what other (more experienced) soap makers know in hopes that you will try it! The first time I made soap, I followed a recipe exactly. This last time I used a recipe as a template and tweaked it with what ingredients I wanted to use. SoapCalc became my new best friend for a full week while I worked out my recipe.

So if you are ready to make soap, you need to gather a few supplies that you might not already have in your kitchen.

• A digital kitchen scale that measures in ounces
• A stick blender (doesn't she look like she's ready to go?)
• A wire whisk
• Metal mixing bowls
• A couple candy thermometers
  
• A soap mold (this can be a glass cake pan lined with freezer paper which is what I use now, but I have also used quart sized paper milk cartons, although the soap in the middle does not cure as well so that is why I switched to the glass cake pan).
• Vinegar (in case of a lye spill)
  

Here are a few tips that helped me along:

• Research, research, research. I know there is a lot of information available on the internet, and this can be very overwhelming (it was for me at least). I recommend reading what Renee (who happens to be a dear friend and writer of FIMBY) has to say about soap making. She has been making her own artisan soaps for years, and she is very good! She was my inspiration! I found the links on her blog to be most helpful. Her soap and body care information is very helpful.
• Give yourself ample time for making your first batch of soap. It doesn't take long, but it does take time. I wait until all my littles are nestled all snug in their beds, and I am confident that they are all asleep.
• Enlist help! Yes, this is my favorite one because I have yet to mix the lye myself. My dear hubby and I make the soap together. He really enjoys the process; it is all about the science to him.
  
• Wear goggles and gloves! Lye is a very dangerous chemical and will burn your skin so please protect yourselves. We also mix the lye outside, although I am not so sure this is necessary (we do it anyway).
  
• Make sure you get a reliable scale. The first scale we bought kept shutting off while we were measuring and would not tare properly so spend the extra money and get a good scale. This is the one we currently use.
• Have Fun and share what you make!

Here is my most recent recipe that I made in December for our holiday soap (make sure you check EVERY recipe in a lye calculator before you begin making your soap).

Olive Oil 37 oz.

Palm Oil 19 oz.

Castor Oil 5 oz.

Coconut Oil 190z.

Shea Butter 16 oz.

Water 36.48 oz.

Lye NaOH 13.18 oz.

Orange Essential Oil 1oz

Rosemary Essential Oil 2 oz.

Nutmeg Essential Oil 2oz

2 Tbsp Nutmeg

2 Tbsp Cocoa powder

The recipe was adapted from Renee at Fimby. I changed the essential oils and some of the carrier oils, but the process is the same.

Prepare your cold water in a metal mixing bowl and set aside.

Melt your solid oils on low heat; add the liquid oils, stirring frequently.

Carefully pour your lye into your cold water (being sure to wear your gloves and goggles). Keep the Vinegar close just in case you need it. The vinegar acts as a neutralizer for the lye.

The lye will heat the water. You want to mix the water and the oil when they are at the same temperature. I mix them at 120 degrees, but I know some people mix them at 115 or 110 degrees. Be very careful not to overheat your oils or you may find yourself waiting for quite a long time before they cool to 120 degrees.

So when both have hit 120 degrees remove the oils from the heat then pour the water/lye into the oils.

Using your stick blender, blend until trace (trace is when the soap mixture is still liquid but leaves a "trace" when you pull the stick blender up out of the mixture. This is when you add your essential oils then mix a little longer.

Pour half the mixture into your soap mold. Put the nutmeg and the cocoa powder into the remaining mixture and blend. Then pour over the first layer.

Using a spatula, make s-shaped and figure 8 patterns throughout the soap to give it the "swirled" look.

I put my soap mold into a cardboard box and leave it covered up for 24 hours. After 24 hours, take it out of the box and out of the mold and cut it into bars. After experimenting with different thicknesses, I found that thick square bars take longer to cure than thinner rectangular bars (makes sense).

Set the bars back into the cardboard box (leaving ample space in between each bar for air flow). Store somewhere away from kiddos. Some recipes say the soap needs to cure for 4 weeks, but I found that this particular recipe needed a longer curing time so I used the soap after 6 weeks, and it was perfect! Let me know how it turns out!